Monday, August 6, 2012

Down but not Out

Hi anyone who reads this ever....

So that 30 Day Challenge thing that I wanted to do, yea that didn't happen.
I thought I would e so good at keeping accountable like I did with my marathon, ut nope.

I am not sure but I think I was burned out.

I did keep my running up a vit and even trained for and  ran a half marathon on July 7th.

and then I felt like, OK I'm done.

I wanted to run my full, check.
I wanted to run a half before I got pregnant, check.

And then life kept happening and what I called a break turned into weeks and I could tell my well being and depression were starting to creep back in.

Once I started realizing this was around the same time as the shooting in Aurora. I think the sadness and darkness of all of that made me start having anxiety again and things have been pretty bad or at least hard for me.

Sooo the past few weeks I have had this struggle and life seems to be handing me a lot of hard things right now.

So I MADE myself get ready to at least go out today and run/walk. My sister in law ended up coming with and we did almost 6 mostly walking, ut it was something and it feels good to be back doing something!

I think with all this anxiety again as well I am self medicating with food. I have been eating horribly!
Almost to the point of making myself sick. I know all the sugar is getting to me as well.

I have gained and lost the same 5 lvs a couple times now vut I want to keep working on it. I am not pregnant yet as far as I know, so I can't just stop.

I know this is way easier said then done, but I really want to try.

I calculated all my miles today and you will see in the side there that my dailymile shows I have run 584 miles this year. I really want to get 1000 and in order to do that I will need to run avout 17 miles a week which seems so doable. So whether I walk, jog, or run them I am going to try.

I would love to sign up for another race but we are pretty strapped right now.

I'll try and keep you posted.

To 1000 miles in 2012!