August 1st Update

I'm back ya'll....

I don't know why I haven't sat down to write in a while here, but it is August 1st, 2 months since my last post and there is not much progress to be honest.

It's crazy to see the scale vacillating between 204 down to 198 and all the numbers in between. 

I know there are many days that I have not eaten foods that are great for me and am overeating, but the weird thing is that I was eating worse before I started running and I just feel like .

...blah blah blah, all the reasons why.

This is today (yellow bra) and Feburary 1st at 195.2, yeah not the usual progress photos but I need to get myself  back into trying to keep accountability, especially here. I am much more TAN however, non- scale victories, ha ha and I feel smaller in inches through my hips or maybe the fat has just settled in new places, ahhh! ha ha.

I am currently participating in a Diet Bet with Chris and Heidi Powell. According to that weigh in and all I started at 204 and I have lost 4-6 lbs since then, depending on the day, if I have run, what I just ate. Ha. You know!

So, I am just keeping it real and keepin on!

I have been learning new things about myself and eating lately, about obeying and trusting and being honest with what I am eating. On the days I don't move much, I should eat less. It makes sense and easy but it really hasn't been for me.

When I watch Extreme Weight Loss, the show, Chris Powell is always talking about needing to shed the emotional weight first. I think I am still unsure, unclear of what that really is for me. I think my weight is something I identify myself by, if that makes sense. 

Besides that, I really do comfort eat, whether it is gross to hear myself say that or not. You can't change what you don't acknowledge, so I am trying to just be where I am. 

I was also listening to a bit of "Get out of that pit" by Beth Moore on one of my runs. She was saying how mostly in her case, any true freedom comes from a long walking out process of obedience with the Lord. I know this is the case for me as well. I know I have to walk slowly through this as I want to get to the root.

Another thing that I learned from watching EWL was one woman afraid to anything because she wasn't going to be able to do it perfect. Yep, that is me. All or nothing. But doing something and trying, it means so much. It's ok to not get to my weight loss goals in 4 weeks, it's OK to fail, it's OK to not be the best, fastest, strongest, hottest, whatever. I just want to be the best me that I can.

Anyways, here are a few thoughts on my training:

I have 15 days till my marathon!! HOLY MOLY!

OK, so that is basically 2 weeks.

I still don't think its registering the way that I think it should, but I think it will be fun regardless.

I am struggling on even the shortest of runs. Like today, I was meant to do 5, I did 3.5. I feel totally dead. I have no idea if its in my head or my body is just over it.

I hope that I start feeling strong next week or I might have to change to a half, seriously, I am a little worried about it.

Beyond that, yesterday I made a calendar all the way till October with my running plans.

I will be doing the Neon Dash next weekend,

the Broncos 7K on Aug 31st,

nothing for September (but I am looking) 

and I am registered for the Rock n Roll Half on October 19th

I also might do another REVEL run (most likely half) on November 15th in California.

I want to keep going. I know myself to know that I will just stop once I finish my marathon and I am already not doing well in training for that, so I have to push myself. I was thinking about it this morning, I have to make the choice now to just keep my miles up after a week of rest when I am done with my marathon.

I want to keep running part of my life, maybe even add in some biking if I could do it?

We shall see. That is the update on all this for now....

Onward I go!

2nd Marathon Training Week 6

Marathon 2 Training Vlog Week 5 and Update

OK, I am back, yes it's been a long while!!

This is me today! I got beautiful for you, you're welcome. 

I have had this blog of private for a long time, because I am not sure I was comfortable with people knowing my weight or seeing pictures of my flabby belly and throwing up in their mouth. ha

But I think I want to encourage someone, I want to inspire someone to keep fighting. To get back up again. This is part of my story, a bigger part than I have wanted to care to admit. 

So here it is, so what?

I had gotten down to about 194 when I started a 40 day fast with my church and that whole thing really through me for a loop. I gained back 12 lbs, grrr!

Such is life. 

About 5 weeks ago I decided, what the heck, I was going to try and train for another marathon.

I didn't write about it here but I did dislocate my knee twice at the beginning of this year. You can read that story HERE

I wasn't really sure if I could train for it, but I thought I would take it one day at a time.

So here, we are 5 weeks in, running my first 10 in a while tomorrow! I have this weird assurance about it. 

The weight part, kinda annoying. I have been running 4-5 times a week and the scale would maybe move half a pound, mostly up. And I hadn't been exercising AT ALL before that!

So, it was discouraging even though I was reading articles about weight gain in training and all that, I was feeling so uncomfortable in my clothes and just gross.

I'm happy to tell you that a couple pounds finally left this week, sheeesh!

My clothes are still tight, but....
one day at a time right?

What sets you back in weight loss??
Share your thoughts and insights!

One Month Update

Things are going well. Currently as I write this I am 10 weeks postpartum and have lost a little bit more, but I had forgotten to update this blog.

The last time I weighed in, last Saturday, I was 212 even and yesterday morning when I weighed it said

210.9!

Slowly but surely coming off. It has been steady though, which I am super happy about.

 You can clearly see a difference in my tummy.

Lucklily my uterus has gone back down to its original size. 

It was so weird getting regular jeans after I had him. Nothing fit right at all because of that weird pooch in the middle there.

I knew I had to start again soon because I had to buy a size 18 jeans!

I am still wearing them because I am not going to buy any others until I can get back into my own jeans.

I was 200 lbs when I started WW after my first pregnancy and I am pretty sure I was between 190-200 when I got pregnant.

So, I have 10-20 lbs till I can get back in those jeans, even then they may be a little tight, but that is the goal.

I was running and trying to train again, but my husband doesn't get home until after the sun sets now with the time change and he doesn't think it will be safe to run in the dark. I did about 4.5 miles on Saturday, but so far this week I haven't worked out yet. I need to start some videos, but I am doing well on my eating...even with all the Halloween candy in the house. So we shall see....

Here is to be under 200 again. Only 11 or so more pounds, woop!

It's Not Quitting if You Never Give

I am starting again on this blog.

After I ran my marathon and all that running the beginning of 2012 I battled with depression again.

I think I was controlling it a lot with running and when I stopped it came rushing back in.

I gained the 30lbs I lost during the fall or that year as I struggled and fed my emotions.

I went up and down about 10lbs once I got back on medication and then in January I found out I was pregnant.

To make a long story short, I just didn't watch my food at all and ended up gaining a total of about 60lbs.

My water broke at 38 weeks, one week to the day that I was scheduled for my c-section and I had a beautiful baby boy that was 8lb 15oz

Aug 27th, 2013

About three weeks after I had him I joined WW and started at

228.4

Time to change...

Clearly the big belly and c-section cause a large overhang of skin.

This does go down with weight loss and the return of some ab work.

Here is a picture I took the week after I started on a date night.

I hate this photo for a million reasons, but its a good before.

The way I don't want to stay looking.

This was before my first workout postpartum.

And these show what exactly that large tummy does to your body after a c-section!

These are my official 

BEFORE PHOTOS

I also was able to start running again yesterday....

Here we go....

Down but not Out

Hi anyone who reads this ever....

So that 30 Day Challenge thing that I wanted to do, yea that didn't happen.
I thought I would e so good at keeping accountable like I did with my marathon, ut nope.

I am not sure but I think I was burned out.

I did keep my running up a vit and even trained for and  ran a half marathon on July 7th.











and then I felt like, OK I'm done.

I wanted to run my full, check.
I wanted to run a half before I got pregnant, check.

And then life kept happening and what I called a break turned into weeks and I could tell my well being and depression were starting to creep back in.

Once I started realizing this was around the same time as the shooting in Aurora. I think the sadness and darkness of all of that made me start having anxiety again and things have been pretty bad or at least hard for me.

Sooo the past few weeks I have had this struggle and life seems to be handing me a lot of hard things right now.

So I MADE myself get ready to at least go out today and run/walk. My sister in law ended up coming with and we did almost 6 mostly walking, ut it was something and it feels good to be back doing something!

I think with all this anxiety again as well I am self medicating with food. I have been eating horribly!
Almost to the point of making myself sick. I know all the sugar is getting to me as well.

I have gained and lost the same 5 lvs a couple times now vut I want to keep working on it. I am not pregnant yet as far as I know, so I can't just stop.

I know this is way easier said then done, but I really want to try.

I calculated all my miles today and you will see in the side there that my dailymile shows I have run 584 miles this year. I really want to get 1000 and in order to do that I will need to run avout 17 miles a week which seems so doable. So whether I walk, jog, or run them I am going to try.

I would love to sign up for another race but we are pretty strapped right now.

I'll try and keep you posted.

To 1000 miles in 2012!

30 day Challenge Vlog