August 1st Update

I'm back ya'll....

I don't know why I haven't sat down to write in a while here, but it is August 1st, 2 months since my last post and there is not much progress to be honest.

It's crazy to see the scale vacillating between 204 down to 198 and all the numbers in between. 

I know there are many days that I have not eaten foods that are great for me and am overeating, but the weird thing is that I was eating worse before I started running and I just feel like .

...blah blah blah, all the reasons why.

This is today (yellow bra) and Feburary 1st at 195.2, yeah not the usual progress photos but I need to get myself  back into trying to keep accountability, especially here. I am much more TAN however, non- scale victories, ha ha and I feel smaller in inches through my hips or maybe the fat has just settled in new places, ahhh! ha ha.

I am currently participating in a Diet Bet with Chris and Heidi Powell. According to that weigh in and all I started at 204 and I have lost 4-6 lbs since then, depending on the day, if I have run, what I just ate. Ha. You know!

So, I am just keeping it real and keepin on!

I have been learning new things about myself and eating lately, about obeying and trusting and being honest with what I am eating. On the days I don't move much, I should eat less. It makes sense and easy but it really hasn't been for me.

When I watch Extreme Weight Loss, the show, Chris Powell is always talking about needing to shed the emotional weight first. I think I am still unsure, unclear of what that really is for me. I think my weight is something I identify myself by, if that makes sense. 

Besides that, I really do comfort eat, whether it is gross to hear myself say that or not. You can't change what you don't acknowledge, so I am trying to just be where I am. 

I was also listening to a bit of "Get out of that pit" by Beth Moore on one of my runs. She was saying how mostly in her case, any true freedom comes from a long walking out process of obedience with the Lord. I know this is the case for me as well. I know I have to walk slowly through this as I want to get to the root.

Another thing that I learned from watching EWL was one woman afraid to anything because she wasn't going to be able to do it perfect. Yep, that is me. All or nothing. But doing something and trying, it means so much. It's ok to not get to my weight loss goals in 4 weeks, it's OK to fail, it's OK to not be the best, fastest, strongest, hottest, whatever. I just want to be the best me that I can.

Anyways, here are a few thoughts on my training:

I have 15 days till my marathon!! HOLY MOLY!

OK, so that is basically 2 weeks.

I still don't think its registering the way that I think it should, but I think it will be fun regardless.

I am struggling on even the shortest of runs. Like today, I was meant to do 5, I did 3.5. I feel totally dead. I have no idea if its in my head or my body is just over it.

I hope that I start feeling strong next week or I might have to change to a half, seriously, I am a little worried about it.

Beyond that, yesterday I made a calendar all the way till October with my running plans.

I will be doing the Neon Dash next weekend,

the Broncos 7K on Aug 31st,

nothing for September (but I am looking) 

and I am registered for the Rock n Roll Half on October 19th

I also might do another REVEL run (most likely half) on November 15th in California.

I want to keep going. I know myself to know that I will just stop once I finish my marathon and I am already not doing well in training for that, so I have to push myself. I was thinking about it this morning, I have to make the choice now to just keep my miles up after a week of rest when I am done with my marathon.

I want to keep running part of my life, maybe even add in some biking if I could do it?

We shall see. That is the update on all this for now....

Onward I go!

2nd Marathon Training Week 6

Marathon 2 Training Vlog Week 5 and Update

OK, I am back, yes it's been a long while!!

This is me today! I got beautiful for you, you're welcome. 

I have had this blog of private for a long time, because I am not sure I was comfortable with people knowing my weight or seeing pictures of my flabby belly and throwing up in their mouth. ha

But I think I want to encourage someone, I want to inspire someone to keep fighting. To get back up again. This is part of my story, a bigger part than I have wanted to care to admit. 

So here it is, so what?

I had gotten down to about 194 when I started a 40 day fast with my church and that whole thing really through me for a loop. I gained back 12 lbs, grrr!

Such is life. 

About 5 weeks ago I decided, what the heck, I was going to try and train for another marathon.

I didn't write about it here but I did dislocate my knee twice at the beginning of this year. You can read that story HERE

I wasn't really sure if I could train for it, but I thought I would take it one day at a time.

So here, we are 5 weeks in, running my first 10 in a while tomorrow! I have this weird assurance about it. 

The weight part, kinda annoying. I have been running 4-5 times a week and the scale would maybe move half a pound, mostly up. And I hadn't been exercising AT ALL before that!

So, it was discouraging even though I was reading articles about weight gain in training and all that, I was feeling so uncomfortable in my clothes and just gross.

I'm happy to tell you that a couple pounds finally left this week, sheeesh!

My clothes are still tight, but....
one day at a time right?

What sets you back in weight loss??
Share your thoughts and insights!

One Month Update

Things are going well. Currently as I write this I am 10 weeks postpartum and have lost a little bit more, but I had forgotten to update this blog.

The last time I weighed in, last Saturday, I was 212 even and yesterday morning when I weighed it said

210.9!

Slowly but surely coming off. It has been steady though, which I am super happy about.

 You can clearly see a difference in my tummy.

Lucklily my uterus has gone back down to its original size. 

It was so weird getting regular jeans after I had him. Nothing fit right at all because of that weird pooch in the middle there.

I knew I had to start again soon because I had to buy a size 18 jeans!

I am still wearing them because I am not going to buy any others until I can get back into my own jeans.

I was 200 lbs when I started WW after my first pregnancy and I am pretty sure I was between 190-200 when I got pregnant.

So, I have 10-20 lbs till I can get back in those jeans, even then they may be a little tight, but that is the goal.

I was running and trying to train again, but my husband doesn't get home until after the sun sets now with the time change and he doesn't think it will be safe to run in the dark. I did about 4.5 miles on Saturday, but so far this week I haven't worked out yet. I need to start some videos, but I am doing well on my eating...even with all the Halloween candy in the house. So we shall see....

Here is to be under 200 again. Only 11 or so more pounds, woop!

It's Not Quitting if You Never Give

I am starting again on this blog.

After I ran my marathon and all that running the beginning of 2012 I battled with depression again.

I think I was controlling it a lot with running and when I stopped it came rushing back in.

I gained the 30lbs I lost during the fall or that year as I struggled and fed my emotions.

I went up and down about 10lbs once I got back on medication and then in January I found out I was pregnant.

To make a long story short, I just didn't watch my food at all and ended up gaining a total of about 60lbs.

My water broke at 38 weeks, one week to the day that I was scheduled for my c-section and I had a beautiful baby boy that was 8lb 15oz

Aug 27th, 2013

About three weeks after I had him I joined WW and started at

228.4

Time to change...

Clearly the big belly and c-section cause a large overhang of skin.

This does go down with weight loss and the return of some ab work.

Here is a picture I took the week after I started on a date night.

I hate this photo for a million reasons, but its a good before.

The way I don't want to stay looking.

This was before my first workout postpartum.

And these show what exactly that large tummy does to your body after a c-section!

These are my official 

BEFORE PHOTOS

I also was able to start running again yesterday....

Here we go....

Down but not Out

Hi anyone who reads this ever....

So that 30 Day Challenge thing that I wanted to do, yea that didn't happen.
I thought I would e so good at keeping accountable like I did with my marathon, ut nope.

I am not sure but I think I was burned out.

I did keep my running up a vit and even trained for and  ran a half marathon on July 7th.











and then I felt like, OK I'm done.

I wanted to run my full, check.
I wanted to run a half before I got pregnant, check.

And then life kept happening and what I called a break turned into weeks and I could tell my well being and depression were starting to creep back in.

Once I started realizing this was around the same time as the shooting in Aurora. I think the sadness and darkness of all of that made me start having anxiety again and things have been pretty bad or at least hard for me.

Sooo the past few weeks I have had this struggle and life seems to be handing me a lot of hard things right now.

So I MADE myself get ready to at least go out today and run/walk. My sister in law ended up coming with and we did almost 6 mostly walking, ut it was something and it feels good to be back doing something!

I think with all this anxiety again as well I am self medicating with food. I have been eating horribly!
Almost to the point of making myself sick. I know all the sugar is getting to me as well.

I have gained and lost the same 5 lvs a couple times now vut I want to keep working on it. I am not pregnant yet as far as I know, so I can't just stop.

I know this is way easier said then done, but I really want to try.

I calculated all my miles today and you will see in the side there that my dailymile shows I have run 584 miles this year. I really want to get 1000 and in order to do that I will need to run avout 17 miles a week which seems so doable. So whether I walk, jog, or run them I am going to try.

I would love to sign up for another race but we are pretty strapped right now.

I'll try and keep you posted.

To 1000 miles in 2012!

30 day Challenge Vlog

Back from vacation with a gain/30 Day Challenge

So I got back from vacation on Saturday...

Let me just be honest and say that I ate like I was on vacation.

I didn't necessarily feel like I over ate, but I did have lots of treats that I normally wouldn't have had.

I exercised about 4 times, including the marathon in the 2 weeks.

The first time I weighed when I got back I was just preparing myself for the worst. Like a 10 lb gain.

When I first stepped on the scale it wasn't as bad as I had prepared for, but it still wasn't good..5 lbs.

However I started drinking lots of water and got back to my eating habits and this morning was back to 170.

I actually stepped on the scale twice because I needed to be sure it wasn't a fluke... luckily it wasn't.

So...I gained 2lbs, that is much better and workable!

I found myself really worrying about it, I think because everything in our life seemed to change while I was on vacation. The biggest being that my husband got promoted (which is really great) except that he commutes an hr and a half now which leaves little time by the time he gets home to eat dinner, get my son to bed, and hope to go work out. That and I have just been really tired since being back as well. 

I really want to keep running, but again, it's finding the time.

BUT, I have to do something. So I am trying to figure out what might work for this next while, a challenge of sorts.

So I am starting a 30 day challenge.

I am starting it today rather than June 1st for 2 reasons. One, I will use the rest of May to be too lenient with myself and two because my parents are coming at the end of June so I want to be at least kinda finished up by then.

I am going to go through these prompts here just to get my mind in the right place as well.

I made a 30 day work out plan and I will do a video every week as well just to keep me accountable!!

I am going to wait to do this Day 1 until the 29th when I do my updates.

On to the next goal....

My Marathon Story 26.2!!

Sorry I have been MIA from the blog. Things have been crazy busy with vacation type buisiness and we haven't been back home for over 6 months so we had a lot of people try and see and catch up with. You know how it goes.

Anyways, I have been wanting to write about my race before I forget about it, and this is the first chance that I have had to do that.

My husband and I made our way down to the Expo which we found with ease. I picked up my packet and bib and we headed to our hotel, which ended up being only 5 minutes from the Expo and finish line. Awesome! It was really nice as well, thanks Priceline.com!

After everything was going so well and smoothly I was able to relax a little more, which was a good thing!

 At about 3:00 we headed to Maggianos (which I had been wanting to try) and we shared the meal for two!

{I had no idea you get to take a portion home with you as well!!!  Talk about carb loading dream!!}

When we got back I layed out all my gear for the next day and pinned on my bib and attached my timing chip to my shoe.

 My husband was very supportive and fell asleep!!

{ha ha}

We were so tired from essentially losing a whole night of sleep on the Thursday we drove out to California so we decided to take a nap. I set my alarm for 7:30 and then I woke up, ate a little more food, watched a little tv and then tried to get back to sleep again by 9:00 pm.

I actually slept really well. I woke up to check the time a couple times, but other than that, slept normal. At around 3 am I woke up, made a cup of coffee and my peanut butter and honey whole wheat bagel, and started getting ready. I had to be there for my shuttle at 4:15 and we planned on leaving at 4:00.

We were one of the first buses that got there so all the porta potties were available!! woo hoo! I went twice before we started. Here is a video when I was just waiting....

My friends John and Joy Richart decided at the last minute to run the race as well and they ran it with me the whole time. John was my youth pastor when I was growing up in high school so I have known them for a long time. It was such a cool experience!

{John and Joy are on either side of me and on the outer sides is Lisa and her son Ryan. Joy has ran nearly 20 marathons I believe, including Boston. This was John's 9th marathon and I am not sure how many Lisa and Ryan had run but they had just gotten back from back to back marathons a week apart in London and Paris!!}

{do I look excited/nervous enough??}

I was so paranoid we would start out too fast and I probably did run the first part faster than I had planned. But it was so nice to have people running with me and to talk to that it all went by so fast. I did feel like I was on a high and talking Joy's ear off!

{so awesome that the major humidity gave me fantastic fro braids!!}

I really felt awesome until about mile 21, and it just hit me...like...this is it!!

I had to start taking walk breaks.

Joy made this video for me during one of our first walks...

My mind seemed to go into a survival type mode. I knew I only had 5 miles left, easy right??

Not so much after 20 I guess.

Joy took some gold fish and asked me if I wanted some, so I took them. My stomach felt sloshy from all the water, gatorade and gu's I had taken. I chewed a few and spit them out because they made me want to vomit, but I actually got a bit down and I think they helped!!

I know for sure I ran the last mile, and every step I really wanted to stop.
John and Joy really helped me along, encouraging me, and telling the cheering people on the sides that this was my first marathon and they would cheer for me, ha ha.

This was us coming up the dreaded point 2.

From this point on everything seemed a little surreal for some reason. Probably because the finish line was nothing like I expected. All the food was gone, no shiny rain coat thing, no massaging people. So I just stood there with my metal, trying to find my family, which I finally did.

They took some pics with and for me too!



It means the WORLD to me for all these people to be there and support me.


I could not have trained at all without these two below who watched my son so I could train many hours!



My amazing sister-in-law, Catalina!! Who was sooooo supportive of me the entire time!
LOVE YOU!!!

and of course, my amazing husband like always!!



I still can't believe I have done it, and I have to say, I am so proud of myself.

{I am going to write more about my feelings surrounding it all later, thank you all of YOU too who have supported me with your love and encouragement as well...it means more than you know!}

Marathon Training Vlog Week 18

My Happy Birthday monthly update:)

Today I was 168.4! 

Woop woop!!

-6.2 since last month!!

 (it was those monster runs I am convinced!!)

Boy it's hard now tapering and it being my birthday week! ha ha...but that week is ending today so its all good, until we go on vacation...ha ha.

My measurements today are....

Hips: 42

Waist; 35

R Thigh: 24

R Bicep: 13

Chest: 37

-3.5" since March

Here are today's pics.

March

April

March

April

March

Marathon Training Vlog Week 17

Weekly Weigh in 4/19/2012 I LOST ALL MY BABY WEIGHT!!

Whoa this new Blogger layout is weird! Oh well, I will get used to it.

So, yesterday I weighed at 169.8!!!! 

{Today I am 170.1, but I know weight fluctuates so I am claiming yesterday's weight!!}

I was THRILLED all day. I had to go look at old pictures to see where I was in life the last time I weighed this much. It was right after we were married! Obviously, because I got pregnant about 4 months after we were married. ha. 

I looked at my old weight loss blog in order to check that. I remember I was around 170 when I started that weight loss blog and took before photos and all, so that is convenient. 

 I am not going to cross it off my goals until it's solidly in the 160's but I was too excited not to claim it today.

I have officially lost ALL MY BABY WEIGHT!!! Yeah yeah yeah! HIGH KICKS!!

I had lost all but 3-4 lbs before when I had done Weight Watchers and before I moved to Colorado and started dealing with depression and gained it all back. I was SOOO close last time, so this is just HUGE to me!

Now, I would LOVE to be 165 by my marathon, but I am not sure about that. I am taking a day off my training today, which I have NEVER done...but I can't seem to kick my sickness and my run on Tuesday was super hard for me. So with this drop in training and how I am supposed to be adding more carbs to my diet and totally resting my body, I am not sure that it's going to happen?

We shall see. My birthday is in 10 days and I wanted to be under 170 by then, so if I don't gain I will have met that goal! Woo hoo!! My birthday happens to also be my 5th month progress update:)

So I still want to get to 140 as my ultimate goal weight and I would love to be that by when we go on our end of summer vacation to Sedona , AZ which is at the end of August. I have decided after I get back from the marathon/California vacation I am going to start other challenges that I am going to video weekly progress on. I think that has really helped me. So I will look into that.

I am soooo nervous about my marathon now. I feel like somehow my mind let down after my 20 miles, like I was done...but I'm NOT! Depending on how I feel I might skip my 12 miles this weekend, but on the other hand I feel like I really want to run it in order to get my confidence back and that I CAN do this.

Will let you know how it goes!!!