Tripping

So this weekend I feel like I have "tripped". I don't feel like I have fallen thought, so thats good!

It was my son's birthday party and of course there was cake and pizza, I had both.

I am struggling with my feelings in that I haven't remained "perfect" on my diet and therefore know I won't see a loss as quickly as I want to. But at the end of the day, this is how life will go. My choice to eat cake again tonight is another topic, I know I didn't have to, but I didn't eat properly throughout the day and was hungry.

I write about this because I don't want to only write about the successes, but also the hard times, because I know this journey will be filled with both. 

Earlier I was upset emotionally, I felt mad, misunderstood, etc. I cried a little over the fact that there was a part of me that really wanted to sit down with a HUGE piece of cake, put on a good show, and just silence my feelings. I didn't eat the cake then, but the realization that the food would be a great comforter to numb me was very real and very in my face.

Today at church the pastor talked about feeling the need to beat ourselves up enough that we might beat ourselves into being better, we all know that NEVER works! So I messed up some this weekend, I went "off plan" and in my past I would have labeled myself a failure and given up. NOT this time, I am going to start again tomorrow. Because today ends tonight, and then it is gone FOREVER. All I have is from here on out, and I can choose again.

{on an encouraging side not I ran almost 6 miles on Saturday and it felt A-MA-ZING! Little victories!}