This week I am down another half a pound, so 186.
That is fine, I will take it, it is still a step in the right direction, regardless of how small.
The time will pass anyways, so I may as well be taking steps toward my goal rather than being frustrated in any way and giving up.
I feel like I have this fighter spirit in me, that I want to fight this, I want to struggle with it and win, for ONCE!
Any other times I have lost weight, I don't think I ever went through the emotional part, I never made myself recognize and deal with. I just went through the motions, and it worked, but if the reason I overeat and choose the wrong foods are because of the emotional side then I have never really dealt with it in whole.
Take yesterday as an example. I was soooooo tired. This is a huge detriment to me and I know that from the past. It's like my body shuts down because my mind can't find the strength. These past couple days have been the first that I have really felt like, uhhhhhh this is so hard and getting old.
I considered writing here in order to get it out. It was a scheduled "CORE" workout day for my marathon training which I had planned to do Bob Harper's Warrior Yoga (PS all his dvds are $5 right now!). But my hip sockets or the top of my legs were very sore. I am thinking from doing two hard workouts in a row this weekend, like I probably shouldn't have done and I really didn't feel like it.
It was a sunny day and my son has been trapped at home all day for too many days so I decided we would go on a walk. It was a GORGEOUS day! Usually I run around the lake that is in our apartments and I don't get the same points of view as when you walk and take it all in. It was melting and I don't know if the geese were excited to finallyclean their feathers but not joke about 500 of them flew into the lake while we were walking around it. (I hoped they would not poop on us on the way!)
Plus I love when you can start feeling spring in the air, you know where its warm, sunny and beautiful. I know its still January and we have snow due us, even tomorrow..but it was so nice just the same. My son fell asleep on the walk and therefore would NOT take a nap when we got back, which was what I was planning on doing to feel better!
All I could think about on our way back was how I was tired of salads, I wanted something fast easy and tasted really good. How my run the night before had sucked because it was cold, and I was sore, and I didn't particularly enjoy it. This was my first real attack of, THIS IS DUMB! I couldn't figure out why I was feeling this way but pinned it to the fact that I was really tired.
My hips were still so sore when we got back, so I started to look online about what I could do for it. Mostly I read that they are connected to the back which compensates for lack of a strong core, the very reason I was supposed to be doing my core work out. I REALLY want to be able to finish this marathon and I need a strong body to be able to do that. Plus I thought, maybe doing yoga would stretch out my legs in order to feel better.
At the end of his work out Bob says that sometimes when we are tired and stressed we go to get some chocolate for a little boost, but try a spine stretch..it gives you a burst of blood to the head. He went on about having energy to finish the day, blah blah blah. As I was laying there in my yoga sweat I thought, yeah right. But when I was finished I felt a MILLION times better. I did have more energy and my hips were warm and not sore. I was really amazed by this.
This week has also been hard as my sister-in-law who usually watches my son for me while I run is out of town so I have been trying to find alternatives. Like today I am considering taking my son in the jogger for my hard 3 miles, ahhh....we shall see?
Sunday is my monthly picuture update and measurements.
I feel like this month went by pretty quick and although maybe I didn't lose as much this month as my first month, I can tell my inches are different. So I am looking forward to measuring and seeing.
See ya Sunday!
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