Friday, August 1, 2014

August 1st Update

I'm back ya'll....
I don't know why I haven't sat down to write in a while here, but it is August 1st, 2 months since my last post and there is not much progress to be honest.

It's crazy to see the scale vacillating between 204 down to 198 and all the numbers in between. 

I know there are many days that I have not eaten foods that are great for me and am overeating, but the weird thing is that I was eating worse before I started running and I just feel like .
...blah blah blah, all the reasons why.

This is today (yellow bra) and Feburary 1st at 195.2, yeah not the usual progress photos but I need to get myself  back into trying to keep accountability, especially here. I am much more TAN however, non- scale victories, ha ha and I feel smaller in inches through my hips or maybe the fat has just settled in new places, ahhh! ha ha.

I am currently participating in a Diet Bet with Chris and Heidi Powell. According to that weigh in and all I started at 204 and I have lost 4-6 lbs since then, depending on the day, if I have run, what I just ate. Ha. You know!

So, I am just keeping it real and keepin on!

I have been learning new things about myself and eating lately, about obeying and trusting and being honest with what I am eating. On the days I don't move much, I should eat less. It makes sense and easy but it really hasn't been for me.

When I watch Extreme Weight Loss, the show, Chris Powell is always talking about needing to shed the emotional weight first. I think I am still unsure, unclear of what that really is for me. I think my weight is something I identify myself by, if that makes sense. 

Besides that, I really do comfort eat, whether it is gross to hear myself say that or not. You can't change what you don't acknowledge, so I am trying to just be where I am. 

I was also listening to a bit of "Get out of that pit" by Beth Moore on one of my runs. She was saying how mostly in her case, any true freedom comes from a long walking out process of obedience with the Lord. I know this is the case for me as well. I know I have to walk slowly through this as I want to get to the root.

Another thing that I learned from watching EWL was one woman afraid to anything because she wasn't going to be able to do it perfect. Yep, that is me. All or nothing. But doing something and trying, it means so much. It's ok to not get to my weight loss goals in 4 weeks, it's OK to fail, it's OK to not be the best, fastest, strongest, hottest, whatever. I just want to be the best me that I can.

Anyways, here are a few thoughts on my training:

I have 15 days till my marathon!! HOLY MOLY!
OK, so that is basically 2 weeks.

I still don't think its registering the way that I think it should, but I think it will be fun regardless.

I am struggling on even the shortest of runs. Like today, I was meant to do 5, I did 3.5. I feel totally dead. I have no idea if its in my head or my body is just over it.

I hope that I start feeling strong next week or I might have to change to a half, seriously, I am a little worried about it.

Beyond that, yesterday I made a calendar all the way till October with my running plans.

I will be doing the Neon Dash next weekend,
the Broncos 7K on Aug 31st,
nothing for September (but I am looking) 
and I am registered for the Rock n Roll Half on October 19th
I also might do another REVEL run (most likely half) on November 15th in California.

I want to keep going. I know myself to know that I will just stop once I finish my marathon and I am already not doing well in training for that, so I have to push myself. I was thinking about it this morning, I have to make the choice now to just keep my miles up after a week of rest when I am done with my marathon.

I want to keep running part of my life, maybe even add in some biking if I could do it?

We shall see. That is the update on all this for now....

Onward I go!