The scale this morning said....
Down 1.3 lbs!
I'll take it.
I would love to be losing 2 lbs a week, but I will take what I can get.
I was reading my old weight loss blog and there would be times when I would loose 2.5 lbs a week back to back, that is crazy! I do need to remember tho, that was losing mostly baby weight, so I think that comes off more easily.
Not sure what this weight is, uhhh I think just Ashley weight. Ha ha.
I feel like the deficits I am making in calories, just because of the mass amount of running I am doing, should be causing a little bit more loss? But...it is what it is, and it's still good and I was thinking I might not see it on the scale this morning because my husband and I went out for dinner last night: read: SODIUM and water retention, but it broke through. Yeah!
I am seeing other changes as well, in my mind. Like last night we went to the mall to walk around after dinner and we went by the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. It wasn't the reason we went there and I got 2 pieces of no sugar added chocolate and I only ate one when we got home.
Before I would not be OK with such a small dessert if we were going to have dessert, or I would have gone to the mall with the whole intent to get something from there.
The other thing that I find in my mind a lot is fear of the future. It's a strange thing, and I need to figure out how to deal with it and think about what I want to do.
The fear is this, sure it's easy to lose weight now...I am running my butt literally OFF. I am burning so many calories, it's just happening. But what happens after the marathon is over? That won't even be 1/2 way through the year. Will I gain it all back, will I lose momentum, will I slide back into my old ways? I really really don't want to, I want this to be a permanent change. I am just fearing it. I need to think of a plan instead of just being afraid. I know I can keep running, but I am not going to continue to ask my sister in law to watch my son all the time like she is now in order to meet my marathon goal. I know being a "marathoner" isn't exactly in the cards for me anytime soon other than this one. Why? Because I have a two year old and we want to get pregnant again perhaps this summer.
I would ideally really like to meet my goal weight before I try and get pregnant again, I know I am scared of that too. I will have lost all this weight, able to feel confident and better for about 3 months, only to gain it again. I know I don't have to throw caution to the wind like I did last time, but last time was so strange and traumatic for me, it just ALL scares me.
Well, I can't control something that is 6 months away, I can only control today, so I will focus on that...and maybe make that my mantra. Because I can make good choices today, and all those choices, day by day, add up. Right?
Any suggestions or thoughts?